Thursday, 26 June 2008

Frank the hunter....

Frank the ginger cat thinks he is in Heaven since moving to the Dales, the rest of the wildlife think Satan has moved to the village.

After all his constant whining in the car for the entire 6 hour journey up I hope he can now agree I only had his best interests at heart.... and if he doesn't - well we are NEVER moving again, that journey was pure hell, for the entire length of the M1 I was trying to think of ways I could strap him to the roof to get away from his shouting. Such a small cat can really produce an incredible sound.

Since our arrival in the winter months Frank still found plenty of birds and small mammals to kill. But now spring has arrived many new unsuspecting animals are being born and Frank can simply take his pick. So far he has brought in - Birds (the rarer the better it would seem), Shrews, Mice, Voles, and Frogs.

However one early summery morning last week he brought in something new, the story goes something like this: -
It's early morning. The birds are twittering and there is the faint distant sound of the cows mooing their way to the milk shed.
Master Melancholy's voice is calm but slightly uncertain: "Mum ... there's a decapitated rabbit on the bath mat."
He doesn't sound surprised.
Ms M: "Ok, don't worry ... I'm getting up ... get on with getting ready and I'll wake Badger to clear it up."
Master Melancholy: "I can't. I can't be in there. It's staring at me."
Ms M (slightly irritated): "How can it be staring at you if it's decapitated?"
Master Melancholy: "Its head is sitting next to its body."

Upon entering the bathroom as brave as any early rising Badger could be I did the blurry eye trick* and dealt with the mess young Frank had left us. We started to wonder what on earth he could bring in next. And then we found out the very next afternoon.

It all began with Ruby behaving most strangely, whining in an extremely unusual fashion. She is sitting at the bathroom door, seriously unsettled. Then Frank is spotted sitting proudly on the bath mat, guarding the curled up body of a weasel.
What next!? Will he drag a small lamb in from the fields? I have already seen him stalking pheasants that are 3 times his size

*The blurry eye trick is perfect for dealing with anything that makes you feel sick. You simply defocus your eyes so the subject that you are dealing with is not so,... ummm in your face and deal accordingly. It can be used for all manner of pet offences.


Böbø said...

Was Frank some sort of gangster cat back down in Surrey? Is the headless bunny some sort of mafia message?

uphilldowndale said...

We've had the weasel on the mat; my what big teeth they've got!

Anonymous said...

Hmm - our family cat way back when was a serious hunter - we watched him take low flying pigeons out of the air.
His most annoying habit was that he wouldn't hunt in the house, so if he hadn't killed the animal before it got inside, it became our responsibility to catch it (and often finish it off out of compassion).
His most impressive (read scary) kill though was a small dog - a puppy of one of those flat faced 'fighting dog' pedigree breeds. He left it hanging in the catflap because he couldn't lever it and himself through. He'd obviously been badly hurt himself, and limped around half proud, half nervous for a day or two. The vet thought he had some broken ribs and a 'cracked' legbone.
We had to go round the neighbourhood asking if anyone had 'lost' such a puppy. A neighbour explained that yes, they had and they think a fox had taken it by the damage to the mother dog.. we nodded and left hurriedly.

Kahless said...

Yes frank seems a fine warrior cat.

I live in the country too (North Wales) and my boy Ben (who has greyhound in him) usually catches, brings into the house and disembowels 4-5 rabbits a year. I will remember the blurry eyed trick next time!

pierre l said...

After reading this post and the comments, I am really pleased that my cat is such a poor hunter (and hardly even brings anything in).

Beanz said...

Awww look at that picture. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. Are you sure another evil cat hasn't been planting evidence in an attempt to frame poor Frank?

Jon M said...

Wow, a keen hunter. Our cat is quite old now but still carches the odd mouse or vole. The other week she came in with a mouse attached to a mouse trap...convenience food?

trousers said...

Frank looks to be quite a cat - from the photo and the description.

I recall one summer evening when one of our cats found a frog: I just picture it as a mass of bouncing green and (increasingly) red, with a blurred, high-speed mass of tortoiseshell fur and claws.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi Y'all - Badger is away this weekend - without a laptop - so she can't reply. In the meantime, the bathroom once more looks like the Killing Fields....there are far too many fledgling birds for Frank to choose from.

Incidentally, Frank always brings his prey to the bathroom. Furry things generally get eaten in the bath, which is actually quite handy as it's the easiest surface to remove the blood from. He's such a lovely boy, isn't he?

Ms Melancholy said...

By the way, shadowwraith, that's a truly gruesome story. I don't think I have ever heard of a cat taking a puppy out. Frank has been banned from reading this in case it gives him ideas. I was quite worried about the lambs there, for a while