Stray is currently in the States, talking grown-up talk with publishers.
Badger, Master M and I were idling away the evening wondering what particular kinds of naughtiness we could get up to whilst she is away.
Let's watch Nigella whilst we eat, said Badger. Yay!
It's not that Stray disapproves of eating in front of the tele. It's just that - along with perfect pitch and a photographic memory - Stray has this weird 'perfect taste' thing going on. She can't eat whilst watching cookery programmes as she can taste whatever they are cooking, as well as whatever she is eating. It's a bummer.
And so we ate our pudding in front of Nigella for the first time ever - Badger with a pot of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and me and Master M with a Muller Crap-Corner.
Boy, do we know how to enjoy ourselves.
Badger was slightly perturbed at Nigella's unique presenting style.
Why is she gyrating round the table? exclaimed a bewildered Badger. She's postively fornicating!
She's not quite fornicating, Badger, said I.
What exactly is fornicating? said Badger.
Look it up, said I.
No good will come of this, sighed Master M. He is 13 years old. He knows precisely what fornicating is.
Badger googles fornicating.
Well that's not Badger-friendly! exclaims a shocked Badger.
Indeed not. Nigella fornicating around the kitchen table is most definitely not Badger-friendly.
I imagine Stray is missing us quite a lot.