Tuesday, 9 September 2008

While the cat's away...


Stray is currently in the States, talking grown-up talk with publishers. 

Badger, Master M and I  were idling away the evening wondering what particular kinds of naughtiness we could get up to whilst she is away. 

Let's watch Nigella whilst we eat, said Badger.  Yay!

It's not that Stray disapproves of eating in front of the tele. It's just that - along with perfect pitch and a photographic memory - Stray has this weird 'perfect taste' thing going on. She can't eat whilst watching cookery programmes as she can taste whatever they are cooking, as well as whatever she is eating.  It's a bummer.

And so we ate our pudding in front of Nigella for the first time ever - Badger with a pot of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food and me and Master M with a Muller Crap-Corner. 

Boy, do we know how to enjoy ourselves.

Badger was slightly perturbed at Nigella's unique presenting style.
 
Why is she gyrating round the table? exclaimed a bewildered Badger. She's postively fornicating!

She's not quite fornicating, Badger, said I.

What exactly is fornicating? said Badger.

Look it up, said I.
 
No good will come of this, sighed Master M. He is 13 years old. He knows precisely what fornicating is. 

Badger googles fornicating.

Well that's not Badger-friendly! exclaims a shocked Badger. 

Indeed not. Nigella fornicating around the kitchen table is most definitely not Badger-friendly.
 
I imagine Stray is missing us quite a lot. 

13 comments:

Misssy M said...

Uh! I just can't watch Nigella anymore. She puts me off my tea. She's gone a bit too far for my liking. It's just bloody food not a sex aid, Misssus!

Absolute Vanilla (and Atyllah) said...

I've long struggled watching Nigella and now you've explained exactly why. There are certain things that one should just not do with parsnips and other such root vegetables. Never mind the chocolate.

Hullaballoo said...

Awww, sounds like you guys are missing Stray too, big hugs.

Just as well you didn't let Badger watch the programme on s*x education last night. It was full of weirdy wobbly bits and a doctor prodding a naked man with white gloves. Now THAT'S fornication!

trousers said...

Watching tv whilst eating? Bloody hell it's like the last days of Rome when Stray's away...

Trixie said...

After 5 hours of blackboxing, I've finally landed on the originator!

Stray, you are a GENIUS!!!

Stray said...

OMG! Nooooooooooooooo ....

Trousers - it's not the watching TV, it's the watching garlic being stir-fried while eating icecream bit that I can't do. I can actually taste a food as soon as its name is said, never mind looking at it on screen, so while I love cookery shows I can't possibly mix them with my dinner.

Trixie - thanks! Bless you :)

Ms M and Badger - I miss you!

trousers said...

Hi stray, and thanks for so much widget-related fun :)

I'm really, genuinely curious about this - if, for example, I wrote a mismatched kind of food combination, would you be able to taste the oddness of it? For example, fish fingers with orange segments and a dash of soy sauce?

Stray said...

Oddly trousers I can taste your fishfinger-orange-soy-sauce combo, and it's pretty nice! You'd need the orange to be on the sour side, so even satsuma would be ok, but clementines or mandarins would be gross.

Try it ! With rice I think ...

I'd test it myself but I have an allergy to oranges which is now too severe to eat them these days, but I have eaten enough in the past that I know exactly what they taste like :)

I'm glad you're enjoying the widget - Cas and I hatched it very rapidly on the phone one night and it seemed like such a lovely idea, if only people "got it" - and it's a really great feeling that so many people are "getting it"!

Sx

Ken said...

I got here thrugh 8 million black boxes, this is where I sarted. lol

nmj said...

hey ms m & stray & badger, i didn't come on the BB tardis, i came on my stats meter, or whatever it's called... but, stray, this BB travelling carpet is supreme! you are so clever!

i am glad that ms m & badger & master m are indulging in tv watching & dining combinations, but i am with misssy m, i can't watch nigella anymore, she has become a daft parody of herself - i didn't even know she was back on TV, i guess she has a christmas book to promote?

stray, i am thrilled to be invited to hulla & bobo's for dinner at the weekend, i will let you know what i had & then you can taste it instantly with your special telepathic tasting powers.

also, ages ago you said on my blog you'd be in edin in september & for me to suggest a tea/cake shop, pls let me know if you do come up & we can def meet for coffee x

Adventure girl wanna be said...

New here! Love your blob:)

trousers said...

stray, that's quite something. What more can I say?

Oh, ms m, as regards recognition at the launch - I forgot to mention: if the tattoo isn't on show (and there are no guarantees either way), then - for the avoidance of all doubt - I'm 5'7". Sorted.

;-)

Ms Melancholy said...

I couldn't agree more misssy M. Nigella has unfortunately gone on the not-Badger-friendly list.

Hey av, I think it was honey and blue cheese in this particular programme which is wrong on so many levels.

Hi there hulla, sounds horrible! The s*x bit in the title is usually a giveaway for Badger though.

Hi lovely trousers, last days of Rome? You bet! I might even stay up late tonight!

Hey trixie, please don't hold Stray responsible - she knows not what she does. Happy travels.

Stray darling, I can only apologise and promise it won't ever happen again x (at least, not until the next time you go away :) )

Hi Ken, happy travels.

Hi lovely nmj, fab to catch up with you here. I am just finishing TSoM - which I have thoroughly enjoyed - and will be round your way shortly to tell you just that! September was supposed to be a camping trip to Glen Nevis but that is off because of the dreadful weather. Hope dinner was divine! x

Hi agw, I have no idea what to say to that.