Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Displacement activity

I am still writing my article.

Here are all the very clever things I have learned in the past month......

  • Ant and Dec still rock
  • Being in possession of a pair of silicone breasts does not necessarily mean that you are not smart, sassy and witty 
  • Cheryl Cole is as genuine as she is gorgeous and really needs to come round to our house for tea
  • Fat, bald men who can't dance make surprisingly good telly
  • Lip gloss in Russian proportions is a difficult look to pull off
  • Kerry Katona likes pastry
Excellent. Article coming on nicely then. 


Caroline said...

I think I love Cheryl Cole a lot.

This month, I have learned that toast tastes different if you do not cut the slice of bread in half.


trousers said...

Wow, that's some serious research you've been doing ;-)

Just out of curiosity, who possesses the silicone breasts and is smart, sassy and witty? I'll be surprised if I know who he or she is mind you.

MissTickle said...

What I like to think is that there's an awful lot of unconscious activity going on. And soon, when you sit down to write, marvellous words of glory will flow from your fingers unbidden.

Also, I find Cheryl Cole a bit pointy.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi lovely Cas, our crush on Cheryl is getting out of hand. I really, really do believe that one day she will come round for tea. Simon will bring her on his way back from your house I expect. As for the toast thing, I definitely agree. And if I am ordering something-with-toast in a cafe, I make a special request that they don't cut it into triangles. Triangle toast is very, very wrong indeed.

Hi Mr Trousers, very serious indeedy. They'll be giving me a PhD next for services to chav-TV. The woman with the exceedingly large breasts is called Nicola Whatsitsname and is in the jungle waiting to become a celebrity. She is challenging my sexist assumptions single-handedly. Hoorah for Nicola.

Hello there Miss Tickle, I really, really do hope so. I am a bit worried that there is a lot of unconscious activity going on, but that I will end up writing an article on Ant and Dec, Cheryl and women with unfeasibly large breasts and their combined contribution to relational psychotherapy. Surreal rather than postmodern.

Cheryl is a bit pointy I guess, but that is precisely why I want her to come for tea. I shall feed her pastry, possibly from Iceland's party food range.

McBöbø said...

You really are embracing postmodernism in a BIG way.

These are really deep intertextual studies of the multivocalities present in popular culture.

I love how you are rejecting the petty phallogocentricism of ordered thought, and instead mediating your identities through an arch collection of postcolonial, postindustrial, and possibly postpostal archetypes.

Bravo! You are beyond hyper-contemporary Ms MMMMmmmmmm!

nmj said...

Ms M, I cannot forgive you, I watched 'I'm a Celebrity' tonight to see who Nicola was and I saw a man being terrorised with spiders & water & crocodiles in *three* telephone boxes. I hid behind the dish towel for a long time (I had been drying dishes but stopped to see Nicola). Nicola is okay, but not as pretty as Jordan (when she was in the jungle, she was So pretty, but she looks awful out of the jungle, with all the slap on). Nicola was funny when she said she deserved to be a page 3 girl cos she has nice boobs and David didn't deserve to be a singer cos he can't sing. When I realised David was from Dollar I thought he maybe deserved the phone box torture. And the wee man with the blue glasses - is he not in it every year?

Esther is just plain annoying, and I won't really ever get my head round Martina being there.x

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Bobo, could you tell me where you cut and pasted this from? I might use it in my article.... :)

Hi there lovely nmj, I am soooo sorry! I don't actually watch any of the trials myself - Badger sometimes describes them to me whilst I hide behind a cushion but it is definitely my least favourite part of the programme.

Nicola does some lovely one-liners - understated but very insightful. Shame about the unfeasibly large breasts.

Martina is being wonderful and lovely. I would also like her to come round for tea.

I do hope I haven't ruined your evening!

Lovely to see you here again x

McBöbø said...

Cheeky! It was from my own brain (with a bit of help from that article I linked to before). I can bullshit by the yard, if necessary, Ms MMMmmmmm.

nmj said...

Ms M, I just wanted to update you on my 'Celebrity Out of Here' viewing, I had a peep tonight and a few people had gone since I last looked. I saw Nicola in her polkadot bikini but those boobs are just way too big, they scare me a little. Basically, Simon or George to win - I'd quite like Martina to win too but she has won enough already at Wimbledon. Brian was voted off tonight and altho' sleeping with rats is admirable, the little I saw of him before, he needs to be praised all the time and that is just annoying. I also learned a new word, 'manipulise' from the Eastenders one. Hope your article writing is going well. x

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey Bobo - I tease you a little, that's all. You are very teaseable :)

Hey there nmj - well, I am sooo glad you are keeping up! I agree with you that the boobs are terrifying, but she does amuse me. I liked the fact that she felt 'caught in a conspiracy theory', rather than a straightforward conspiracy.

As for honest Joe, I understand that 'manipulising' is something that goes on in the East End that we would probably prefer to remain ignorant of .

Martina to win. She really rocks :)

PS Stray knows Brian Paddick, and insists that he is a very lovely bloke. He came across as a bit of a wuss to me, but I guess in a copper that can only be a good sign.

Ms Melancholy said...

PPS I don't really watch it.....I just happen to stare at the tele whilst Master M watches it.........

nmj said...

well, babe nicola is out...

myself, i am need of some instant CBT after the closeup of a huge bastard spider, i need to get rid of that image in my head. it was HIDEOUS... it had more than 8 legs, i'm sure of it.

(i still don't know which one is ant & which one is dec.)

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey nmj, it's a great programme for comparing irrational fears - I don't mind spiders in the least, but those cockroach things give me the heebie jeebies. I was sorry to see Nicola go, but very pleased - and a bit surprised - to see the lovely Martina in the final. Maybe we do appreciate talent after all.

The Ant and Dec thing is easy - they read from left to right. According to Stray, anyway.....I have never known which is which either.