Saturday, 26 July 2008

Surely that won't sell ... ?

Bold fabric conditioner have released a new fragrance: White Diamond and Lotus Flower.

As diamond is a famously hard and chemically unreactive substance which, it follows, has no smell, Ms Melancholy and Badger have concluded that the name was mixed up at the last moment.

Why anyone would want their washing to smell of cheap cider, vomit and their mother's Charlie is beyond us.

P.S. in more random TV bloggage, Ms M dreamt last night that Andy Peters - former darling of children's TV who is currently irritating the life out of us impressing us all on Celebrity Masterchef - was awarded an OBE for 'Services to Goose Fat'.  Analyse that. 


Böbø said...

Being a man I suspect I'm possibly not the target market for Fabric Conditioner … though I use it to take the sharp edges off Boboland, so perhaps.

Then I noticed from the marketing bollocks that Bold has appropriated the language of computer software:

"Bold 2in1, the unique 2-in-1 fabric conditioner with detergent has undergone its biggest softness upgrade in 20 years. It's all thanks to our SoftTouch technology, which makes your family's laundry noticeably softer than before."

Biggest softness upgrade … wooooo!

SoftTouch technology … double woooo!

I'm surprised they didn't call it Bold 2.0 and be done with it.

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

The silly will buy anything with a "rich" name. "Oooh, dahling, my blouse sells of white diamond, cos of course, I'm so up there, I can afford the smell of diamonds on my clothes..."
Yers, we-ell. Takes all sorts.

I don't think I want to know about services to goose fat. I'm not sure it should be allowed. It certainly evokes far too many unpleasant mental images.

Reading the Signs said...

ok, you talked me out of it, Stray. Though actually I don't touch that kind of stuff because chemical perfumey things make me feel ill. What do diamonds smell like? It's the kind of question I might have asked creative writing students. I bet the marketing people do similar exercises, but not in the name of poetry.

PurpleSparkleBright said...

I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who also thought that diamonds don't have a smell!!! I must admit though I'd like to see what they think diamonds smell of- I was loitering by a supermarket display of the stuff (and they have Ruby Jasmine and Amethyst Rose too- )but there were too many people around for me to take a surreptitious sniff. Why do they not have scratch n sniff on the boxes? whatever happened to scratch and sniff anyway?
A look on the Bold website reveals also that they have "Soothe" spelled as "sooth". Can these washing tabs tell your furtune too??? where will it all end....!

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