Saturday, 26 April 2008

sometimes a big cigar is just a big cigar




I think I know myself pretty well. I have been therapied to within an inch of my life, after all.

Every now and again my unconscious throws me up a dream, just to remind me that I'm not quite as in charge as my rather smug observing self believes. It's the usual stuff - car brakes won't work/being chased by scary people/naked on toilet in lift...... 

(The 'naked on toilet in lift with doors about to open' is the mother of all anxiety dreams, and if you've never had it I suggest you have a long hard word with your psyche right now.  It's something that everyone should try at least once in their lives, rather like taking acid or going to a Kylie concert.)

Every now and again my unconscious throws me something entirely random - just to take the piss probably - which I then feel utterly compelled to make some sense of.  It's my job, innit?

So, to last night's offerings.........

I visit the local farmer, riding my giant dustbuster. Apparently it's a very green mode of transport and is surprisingly comfortable. It's just an added bonus that it cleans the roads as you ride. 



I park up my oversized but ecologically sound dustbuster,  to be greeted by his giant hamsters. I am pleased, for it is indeed the giant hamsters which have prompted my visit. We have a weasel problem, you see, and the giant hamsters provide excellent weasel control. 

Of course I can borrow them, he says, and whilst he sorts out the paperwork - which is all in Spanish - he tells me about the Blues band he plays in and when they are next gigging. I make a mental note. 

He harnesses up the hamsters - the last thing you want is these things running wild - and I ask for his phone number in case something goes wrong. He gives me it in Spanish, French and Italian and I mount my dustbuster, musing on how educated these farmers are.

Pure randomness. 

My sister once had a dream that she was riding a Netto carrier bag in the parents' carrier bag race at the school sports day. She won.  





22 comments:

trousers said...

Brilliant. I love dreams, especially when they're so entertaining by dint of their sheer oddness. No way am I going to even try and interpret this one for you...

Ms Melancholy said...

Ah yes trousers, the random ones are the best. No Freudian imagery there....which is more than can be said of your own gun dreams, of course. Ever get that one sorted?

Badger said...

Weasel problem!! Badgers are part of the Weasel family... eeep.

Maybe your unconscious thinks I am a problem and need dustbusting up or worse, controlling by Hamsters. Lets hope not.

Badger x
ps. I have briefed Frank and if you set hamsters on me he will deal with them and then the farmer will be cross with you.

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey little Badger, I had no idea that we either had a weasel problem, or that weasels were part of the badger family! I absolutely promise you that there will be no anti-weasel activity in our little badger set. You and your weasel friends are perfectly safe with us.

As for the giant dustbuster, I wonder if we could get one to clean the house? I quite fancy a ride-on cleaner.

Congratulations on the footy, by the way. Stray has her head in her hands and I can only hope that she has recovered by the time we see you again on Monday. Hope you are managing all by yourself in the set. Big hugs xxx

trousers said...

I did, Ms M - I seem to remember it was about power rather than about sex. Which you might say is a shame...

Thank you, by the way, for leaving not just one but two six-word memoirs on my latest post :)

x

But Why? said...

Was your sister a parent at the time she won the parents' carrier bag race?

Thanks for the dream post - I have to get my fix of bizarre wrongness from other people's dreams - I rarely remember my own. I certainly don't take hamsters for walks whlst riding giant vacuum cleaners.

Do giant dustbusters beat Netto carrier bags in biazrre dream vehicle top trumps...

Was everything in the dream giant?

Is Stray still growing?

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi there but why?, yes she was a parent and clearly had a neurosis about shopping at Netto's (which, frankly, is entirely understandable.) Not sure if the giant dustbuster would beat her in a race though....merging dreams with siblings sounds like a fast track to psychosis to me.

Is Stray still growing? I hope so....I am hoping to one day be the smallest person in the house and therefore be the little one that gets away with murder. At the moment it is still Master Melancholy, and he uses it to great advantage.

Good to see you here again. Hope you are feeling better x

anticant said...

"it was about power rather than about sex."

What's the difference?

trousers said...

I can remember the last time I had power :)

But Why? said...

It worries me that you should want to get away with murder. I will in future be concerned when Stray or Badger go through blogging silence. Probably not concerned enough to call the cops, mind, so you're probably good for a few months before any killing is discovered. Particularly if you leave off the killing until winter, when the tell-tale odours of decomposition won't be setting in until much later...

Böbø said...

Pure randomness ... you'd think. But, if I may offer a wholly inaccurate interpretation...

The Dustbuster is a technical marvel, combining the hidden-hand of science and the obsessive neatness of someone who is very very particular about first mugs and second mugs. Yeap, the Dustbuster is Stray. And we'll draw a discreet veil of any deeper meanings to that, thank you.

The Giant Hamster is a simple anthropomorphic projection onto your favourite mammal chum, Badger.

The Weasel Problem is something you didn't mention when H and I last supped at your table. And so suggests a desire to escape from people at an unconscious level.

Spanish represents your loss of your old dreams in that direction.

Road Cleaning relates to an unexpressed fury at the haphazard untidiness of rural life.

The Blues Band is a nod to how your Northern Soul heart sings ... as opposed to how your voice might sing.

And the farmer is just a farmer, obviously.

There you go. Crystal clear or what!

Hullaballoo said...

Been to any surrealist art galleries recently? This dream would make great subject matter. Love it.

How can I ever take you seriously again, Ms mmmmmm, I mean really lol!! You do realise that you are up for some extreme slagging the next time I see you.

Not that I am competiive (ahem) but I now feel the need to have an even weirder dream, for some reason. How I would love to be a fly on the wall at your next therapy session, I bet you 50p your therapist finds it hard not to giggle.

You are such a sweetheart. {{{Ms Mmmmmmm}}}

Misssy M said...

Four nights now and I've been having sex dreams about Russell Brand. I wouldn't mind...but how unimaginative!

I'd give anything for a dust buster dream...just to break up the monotony...

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi anticant and trousers, fab! Are you two the new Ant and Dec?

Hi again but why, Stray and the Badger are safe. Even little Roo and Frank the killer are quite safe. As for the Wallaby cat - if she pushes her luck any further I am making no promises. I know you know exactly what I mean. You did warn me.

Hey Bobo, I don't actually know where to start with this one, except to say thank God you are not training in psychoanalysis or I'd have to shoot you now...riding Stray whilst she does the cleaning.....words fail me :)

Hey there lovely Hullaballoo, are you absolutely sure you want this man in your life? It's not too late to change your mind you know x

Hey Misssy M , four nights with Russell is surely enough for any woman. Give the poor man a break, why don't you? Try riding a dustbuster - apparently it's really quite sexual according to our resident dream analyst, Mr Bobo Freud.

PurpleSparkleBright said...

That is genius. I wish I could have dreams like that!! I specially like your use of large pictures at apt moment in the text- hilarious!
Perhaps the giant dustbuster was really a representation of anxiety over the she-wee? :)
Only kidding..!

nmj said...

Ms M, I *love* your dream, and I love those wee lambs below. The blue dye on the leg catches my heart, for some reason... Ms M, I also wanted to let you know that Pony has been conversing with you quite a few posts back at mine, like days of old - I warned him you may not come back that far, but we don't want him talking to himself, do we...? x

Absolute Vanilla (& Atyllah) said...

Aside from Freud eyeing your dustbuster beadily, are you quite sure this was a dream?!?

;-)

Ms Melancholy said...

Hey lovely ms purple, I fear you may be right about the she wee. I am definitely suffering from she wee anxiety.....I do wish I had your panache :)

Hi there lovely nmj, thanks for the tip! I think I accused him of stalking you, which always brings him out of hiding! Afraid you are right about my lack of blogging dedication these days - too many lambs to be staring at out of the window - but it is very lovely to have you over here again. I will check out Mr Pony Boy......

Good grief atyllah, I really, really hope so!

Reading the Signs said...

I have been keeping a dream journal, Ms M. Unfortunately I can rarely wake up properly to record them before they fade. The practice is recommended by so many people for creative process, and it does make sense - the blurring of boundaries between night and day vision. Anyway, last night I was a volunteer worker at some organic farm place but all they had to eat for supper was ants and rice. I woke up as I was reckoning that I could just eat the rice without the ants. Wonder what Clarissa Pinkola Estes would make of it.

Boris said...

My two boys LOVE to play at being badgers. This involves making a set out of the duvet and grubbing about for food.

I asked No.1 about the badger family and he says they belong to the mustelid familiy which also includes weasles, skunks, wolerines and (the largest member of the family) the giant amazonian otter.

A simple y/n would have done!

Ms M, Leave them mustelids alone!

Boris

PS saw a badger the other day dead on the side if the road. Was it you?

Caroline said...

I do worry about you.
x

Ms Melancholy said...

Hi there Ms Signs, I know what you mean about the dream slipping away, even as you are writing it down sometimes. Somehow I can never quite recreate the essence of them.

I am ashamed to say I had to google Clarissa PInkola Estes, but I would like to thank you very much for the introduction. She sounds fascinating and I shall investigate further.

Hey there Boris, your son sounds delightful. He can come and live in the badger set here if he wants to :)

Darling Cas, me too honey. Me too x